Chronologically I am not sure where this fits in, but it comes before my next blog. Judah finds a bride after he left his brothers, probably a smart move. The boys would be heading for the pokey if not for the "favored status." He moves down to the land of Canaan and finds a bride. Shua is her name and they have three kids. Er is first followed by Onan, then Shelah. Time goes by and it's time to find a bride for Er. Her name is Tamar.
Before the wedding is consummated the Lord wakes up. Whoa, wait just a minute he must say. How did I miss this gem. Er was wicked. How wicked you ask? Well I'll tell you. He was so wicked the Lord wacked him. "Poof" Just like that.
Well you'd think that would be it, nope. Guess what the brother-in-law had to do in those days? Sleep with his brother's wife. If she is hot you may say whoo - hoo if she is not, you can use your imagination. If you're not interested you may think about doing what son # 2 did. "Son" said dad, "lie with your brother's wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother- in- law to produce offspring for your brother." Onan wanted none of that, but you did not refuse your father in those days so, he lay with her, but pulled out before injecting her with his seed.
The Lord must be into voyeurism, for he found out about the spilled seed and "WHAM!" Whacked poor Onan. What do we learn here kiddies? Good thing the Lord is kinder and gentler. Because I don't know about you, I would be headed for the bug zapper.
Don't end here. Judah says to Tamar, "Why don't you go live with your father as a widow and when little Elmer here grows up you can marry him." NO WAY IN HELL! Just lost two to you, you think I'm losing my youngest to the black widow.
Side note here- why is it her fault? It is not, but those were the days my friends.
Years go by and Judah doesn't keep his word. His wife dies and he grieves for a while. After the grieving, he heads down to see how his herd is going. Tamar hears the word about her father-in-law heading her way so she heads out. She takes off her widow ware and slips into something more comfortable. Oh, and she covers her face so he won't recognize her. Did I tell you that is what prostitutes did in those days? She sits by a shrine on the side of the road.
Here comes old Judah, sees this fine young honey just sitting there, it's not like she says "Hey sailor." He propositions her. She says, "What will be my payment?" and he promises a baby goat. But, she is no dummy, she knows Judah's word is not worth the dirt on the ground, so she wants collateral. Judah pledges his seal and cord, also the staff in his hand.
They get it on, he gets a move on, she goes home and gets changed back into her widow's garb. Judah sends the pledge, can't find the shrine prostitute so he gets his goat back. Hope word doesn't get out because that would be bad.
Three months go by and he gets word about his daughter-in-law and her "changed status." "Slut," he says "Burn that wicked woman. How dare she?" She is accused of being a prostitute. "Now, just wait a minute," she says "The baby daddy is the owner of these." And she shows the pledge. Check friggin' mate, sucka!
Like a politician caught taking a bribe, he scuttles like the rat he is and acknowledges she is more righteous than he because he did not give her his youngest. And he did not sleep with her again.
She had twins. Maybe we will hear about them later.
Lesson for today is: Good thing we're not living by the Old Testament. Just saying!
No comments:
Post a Comment